Before I go into what this post is about, a word of caution. The language you'll find down below is rough not because that's how I normally speak; it's just my way of expressing how strongly I feel. If it offends anyone, then I do apologize.
With Christmas being about a month away, I can't help but wonder. Will my dearest Cori and I finally be able to celebrate it together, or will we still have more than 7,000 KM between us?
In my search for a way to finally have us come together, sometimes I can't help but think of what's keeping us apart. First, there's the difficulty of taking everything I need with me.
Assuming I can't get any support to go with me, with things I need being upstairs and me being unable to get them, how the heck am I going to travel on my own?
Although the problem in Cori's family started some 4 years before we met in Second Life, might I still have done something to worsen the divide in her family? Might I have left doubt about my sincerity and my love for Cori? In my desire to ease the burden on our shoulders (especially on Cori's shoulders), might I have said some things that are not true? Might I have remained silent when I should have spoken?
Questions like these have been plaguing me for longer than I care to remember.
If I said something wrong, or didn't say something when I should have, or said some things that may have caused doubt about how much I love Cori and want to be with her, then I do hope that the following words will vanquish all doubts about it.
I love Cori with all my heart. My love for her and desire to hold her in my arms started in 2013, and has never left me since. Cori is in my thoughts when I wake up and when I go to bed. My daily activities can hide the pain I feel, but cannot dissolve it. I remember pleading for the help I need to go to the U.S.A. until I was in tears. The thousands of kilometers between us always feel bad to me, but there are times when it HURTS LIKE HELL!
You may see me having a good life where I am, and I'm not going to lie, I do have a good life here. However, since falling in love with my dear Cori, I have been feeling incomplete. I am where I am not because I don't want to go, but because I can't go. I realize that these are only words on a screen, but until I can finally hold my sweetheart in my arms, these words are all I have to express my love, my desire...and my pain.
As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this blog post. If you have any questions or comments, then please let me know in the form down below.
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